Better way to die?

Which would be a better way to die – sudden death (e.g. dying in your sleep) or slow expected death (e.g. due to a sickness)?

Yesterday, the clan was shocked to find out about the sudden death of a relative, our tito. And just a little over a year ago, the clan had experienced a prior death – that of our lola. Although her death was unexpected as well, it wasn't as sudden as that of our tito's. Our lola has been in and out of the hospital for weeks before her passing, whilst our tito was said to have just laid down and never woken up.

The major difference between the 2 deaths sparked the question above. My sister and I were thinking that a sudden death might probably be better for the departed because he/she wouldn't have to suffer; however, it's certainly harder for those he/she has left behind.

... as opposed to a slow expected death, wherein the dying has to suffer, but the loved ones will be more prepared and expectant of what is to come.

Earlier today, I preferred the latter, in spite of the physical suffering on my end. That way, I can try to do everything I've always wanted to do (ahem, Bucket List), say everything I want to say to all those that I will be leaving behind (and vice versa), and be more emotionally prepared.

But then, my parents mentioned that it'll also be hard for the loved ones to be left behind, because the dying will not be the only one who will suffer. Those left to care for the dying will also have to suffer emotionally and financially, probably even physically and mentally.

Either way, both parties would have to suffer in some way. So right now, I'm still undecided which would be better. But that's the thing with life – nothing is certain. Similarly, you can't really be certain when life will end. You just have to seize each moment as if it's your last. Carpe diem.

Thank you, 2012

It's the last day of the year and I can't help but look back and be thankful for everything that has happened to me this year.

1. Passing my thesis

Such a roller-coaster ride. Thesis would really make or break a person. My friends and family know what I went through during this time, especially towards the end. I'm thankful that, through God's grace, I was able to please my panel and pass my thesis.

2. Tagaytay-Batangas-Alabang outing with the Friends

Twas the first Juicy Girls outing ever, and we were complete! Twas my first time to bring friends to the Tagaytay house, and I think it was also the first time the family got to meet my college friends and vice-versa.

3. Graduating from College

The college, heck the university was my second home for 5 years. Saying goodbye was such a bitter-sweet moment. 

4. Hanging out with my batchmates

  

I'm thankful that I got to be closer with my batchmates during this year. I'm thankful that we still get to hangout even after graduation and even when we're seas/oceans apart.

the wonders of technology

5. SCUBA Diving

I've always been interested in SCUBA diving, and this year, I finally got my diving license and got to go deep sea diving. I even made new friends thanks to it.

6. USA trip

The highlight of my year. Visited the USA after 6 years! Spent over 3 months in the West Coast. Had so much fun!

Hung out with relatives.

Met up with some California-based friends whom I haven't seen in a long time.

Watched Keane live, from the front row!

picture by Richard of Keane; we're the tall ones, not raising their hands, on the right side

Toured San Francisco by myself.

Visited California Academy of Sciences, whose building was designed by Renzo Piano.

Toured Frank Gehry's Walt Disney Concert Hall.

Went to 5 different amusement parks. Well, 4 if you consider Disneyland and California Adventure one and the same.

Went on a West Coast road trip with cousins and a new friend, and even got to drive on American roads. Toured Portland, Seattle, and Olympia. Drove along the Oregon Coast and stopped by different lighthouses and a cheese factory.

Went to Vegas and got to enjoy it (coz the last time I was there, I wasn't of legal age yet).

Became an extra in some of my cousin's videos.

Learned how to surf.

And of course, devoured burgers and fries from In-n-Out.

omnomnom

7. Getting a job

I'm really blessed to have gotten a job in less than a month after I arrived from the states. I'm thankful that my office is just 45 minutes away from home (and that's already with traffic) and is nearby my siblings' school; I get to ride with my siblings to and sometimes from school everyday. I'm blessed to have one of the best work stations in the office; I have a huge monitor, an AC above my station, and a nice view of Muntinlupa.

Plus, my officemates are pretty cool.

8. Getting awesome gifts from the family for Christmas

Since I'm not a student anymore, I'm already exempted from being given gifts/money from the Panahon clan. So, I didn't get much gifts from other relatives, but my family's gifts compensates greatly. Y'know what they say, "Quality over quantity".

God has blessed me so much this year, that there are more things that I'm thankful for in 2012. I can't list them all here because I'd spend so much time blogging, when I should be spending the last day of 2012 with my family.

2012 has been such an awesome year that I hate to see it go, but I'm looking forward to better things in 2013. So, goodbye and thank you, 2012.

First Day: Goodbye, unemployment!

After one graduates college, it is customary for one to look for a job, whether it be for financial purposes, dream/self fulfillment, or any other reason. It may happen right after graduation or even a year or so after; mine happened over 5 months after I graduated. Some of my batchmates started working immediately after graduation, some even before, but by 3 months after graduation, almost all of my friends have already been working for a month or so. This pressured me a bit to start looking for a job. A few days after coming home from a 3 month-long vacation, I stalked design firms online and asked friends if their company or if they know if another firm was hiring. A couple of inquiries later, I sent my resumé to 3 firms and got quick replies from 2 of those. I got offered by both firms after an interview (plus CAD exam) and a couple of exchange of emails. Obviously, I had to make a decision.

I chose the one which was closer to the house because of the faster and cheaper commute. I also chose that firm because of its familiarity; it's located in a city that I kinda grew up in, and that's also the firm where I had my summer internship last year. Being able to hitch a ride in the morning with my siblings, because of it's close proximity to their school, is just an added bonus.

So, how was my first day? It was okay.

Because I knew majority of the people there (after spending a summer with them and all), I skipped the awkward introductory part mandatory in all first days of anything. It was fun to be welcomed back and to see the old/new officemates and friends I've made during that summer. It was exciting to see the old office with its new configurations; it made me very nostalgic, seeing how things have changed. I kept texting my old partner-in-crime, who interned with me at the office, comparing how things are now and how things used to be. It was actually a great day, except...

I was hit with allergies from wearing a blouse which has been untouched from the cabinet for over 3 months. I finished one roll of tissue halfway through the day! Actually, I'm not sure if this is still allergies or if it's already a cold brought about by the rainy weather. If it weren't for my runny nose and teary eyes, it would've been a fantastic day.

Work-wise, I got to work with the commercial side of the company. Last time I was there, I was under the residential group. My experience working under that group was a factor why I chose this firm. As much as I loved working under that group, I also want to try something different; I wanna expand my horizons. In spite of all the horror stories I've heard about that side and what becomes of their workers, I am optimistic that I will persevere, by God's grace. "It all depends on how you'll act and/or react to the projects and situations." - old/new boss

So, that concludes my first day of work. No biggie, but my family has been making a big deal out of me working for the first time. I honestly didn't feel the need to make it that big of a deal, probably because I wasn't feeling the first day jitters (probably because it wasn't really my first day there). But, hey, as long as we get to celebrate it by eating out, then I'll play along.

But, yeh, I'm pretty excited to see how I'll grow and contribute to this company in the coming months. I'm very excited to be one step closer to reaching my dream of becoming an Architect!